5 years ago my best friend and only sister passed away. Feb. 5th, 2006 remains the worst day of my life. It's hard to believe that my family has made it 5 years. It seemed impossible to even make it through a single day. 5 years is a very long time. It's hard not to think about how different our lives would have been these last 5 years had she been here. It's hard not to think about all of things I wish I would have said or done while she was here. It's hard to live with the guilt of knowing I could have been a better sister. I miss her terribly. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could just talk to her, or see her smile, or hear her sing. I wish we could "play house" together and swap mommy stories. I wish we could still sing together at my parents piano. I wish we could still play games together. I wish she would still invite us over for fondue parties. I wish I could hug her, even though she hated hugs. I wish she was still here to be the peacemaker and the glue of our family. I miss my sister. 
I feel so lucky that Matt, Logan, and Mason are still such a HUGE part of our lives. I feel like when I show them love, I am showing Natalia love because those are 3 people she loved most. Watching Logan and Mason grow up, I see different characteristics of Natalia and that brings me joy. I am so grateful that Matt has stayed close with our family.-
I hope my sister can see and feel just how much we miss her. Heaven is pretty darn lucky they have such an AMAZING person serving there. I hope they realize how special she is.
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I love you Natalia.
4 comments:
I say this every year but it still seems like her being gone is not real. I had a brother that past away right before his 19th birthday. I've been thinking a lot about him lately too and I wondered how things would have been different if he hadn't died. Natalia was even harder then loosing Randy. I hope someday I'll understand and I do have enough faith to believe that there must be a reason. Its hard to understand what that might be in my limited earthly view. I love you and I love your family.
Love you, Camille! We're thinking of you and your family today. Natalia was the first thought on my mind when I woke up this morning. You're right - you can't help wondering what might have been. Hope you're having a good day, together as a family.
I have been thinking about you all today to. I am so glad you talk about Natalia. I miss her too. I want you to know that I love you, and you and your family are often in my prayers.
I sure think your the best Camille. And I am sure your sister loves and appreciates you more then you know.
Love the post thanks for sharing.
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